Something's wrong . . . I think I lost my heart.

I came to a conclusion tonight. I've lost my heart and I'm really not sure where it has gone. Maybe I accidentally kicked it under my bed with all the junk. Maybe I left it in the trunk of my car. I'm always surprised to see what I find in there. Maybe I stuck it in one of my bags and just can't seem to find which pocket it is in. Either way it's gone and I don't know where it is.
Now you might find this all a little confusing after reading my last post, but let me explain. This week has been full of events that should have evoked some sort of emotion. Happiness, frustration, anger, love, disappointment, sadness, guilt are all emotions that I should have felt in accordance with one recent event or another. But tonight I was met with two separate events that normally a person would feel quite disappointed and guilty over. But as I looked down all I found was a black hole in my chest. A point of infinite mass and gravity sucking me into some unseen nothingness. It was then That I realized my heart was gone. This has been a more and more common occurence. But then I thought on my last post and said to myself, "what about last Sunday? I felt some pretty strong feelings and love and gratitude then what about that?" Continuing that thought I wondered when was the last time a felt something before that. to be honest I can't remember.
And so I realized that most of the time I find myself consciously deciding to act in a certain manner. An outward manifestation completely devoid of any inward cause. My actions don't actually reflect how I'm feeing. I'm merely acting according what seems right for the situation. It's as if my heart has been replaced by jello that has been left out too long. You know slightly hard and bounces back from anything (don't ask me how I come up with these things). Nothing really seems to affect me on the inside.
So If you've seen my heart anywhere could you please bring it back to me. I think I might need it. I'm still trying to figure out what I'll use it for but I bet it's important.
And if you think I'm really weird after reading this blog, don't worry it won't hurt my feelings.