Something's wrong . . . I think I lost my heart.

I came to a conclusion tonight. I've lost my heart and I'm really not sure where it has gone. Maybe I accidentally kicked it under my bed with all the junk. Maybe I left it in the trunk of my car. I'm always surprised to see what I find in there. Maybe I stuck it in one of my bags and just can't seem to find which pocket it is in. Either way it's gone and I don't know where it is.
Now you might find this all a little confusing after reading my last post, but let me explain. This week has been full of events that should have evoked some sort of emotion. Happiness, frustration, anger, love, disappointment, sadness, guilt are all emotions that I should have felt in accordance with one recent event or another. But tonight I was met with two separate events that normally a person would feel quite disappointed and guilty over. But as I looked down all I found was a black hole in my chest. A point of infinite mass and gravity sucking me into some unseen nothingness. It was then That I realized my heart was gone. This has been a more and more common occurence. But then I thought on my last post and said to myself, "what about last Sunday? I felt some pretty strong feelings and love and gratitude then what about that?" Continuing that thought I wondered when was the last time a felt something before that. to be honest I can't remember.
And so I realized that most of the time I find myself consciously deciding to act in a certain manner. An outward manifestation completely devoid of any inward cause. My actions don't actually reflect how I'm feeing. I'm merely acting according what seems right for the situation. It's as if my heart has been replaced by jello that has been left out too long. You know slightly hard and bounces back from anything (don't ask me how I come up with these things). Nothing really seems to affect me on the inside.
So If you've seen my heart anywhere could you please bring it back to me. I think I might need it. I'm still trying to figure out what I'll use it for but I bet it's important.
And if you think I'm really weird after reading this blog, don't worry it won't hurt my feelings.

To The Women

As I sat during priesthood meeting today I was thinking about what influences inspiration in my life throughout the week when I'm not in church meeting or reading my scriptures. And as my mind typical does it took a slight tangent from spiritual inspiration to more general inspiration. As I sat pondering what influences my daily inspiration one thing stuck out in my mind, the sisters.
No other factor influences me more in this time of my life than the women I'm surrounded by. My mother is a wealth of knowledge and virtue. She is constantly keeping me updated on everything from the family to American Idol. She helps me stay on track in everything from my finances to breaking my problem (or lack thereof ) with R rated movies. As a dancer I'm constantly surrounded by girls, especially my partners. They are a true source of inspiration. My partner has been one of the best sources of advice and encouragement in recent years. It will be sad when she's not around.
I don't think there is better group of women than the one's I know. Back in October I decided to start dating again after many months of abstaining from doing such due to having my heart broken too many times in a short period. I made a rule that I had to go on at least one date a week. Since starting this rule I have found week after week the most impressive women I've ever met. You are all beautiful, strong, motivated, and moving towards something great in your lives. You each have a testimony of God and his son Jesus Christ and shows it through her modesty, action and words. To anyone who has been on a date with me in the last eight months, or even before, I say thank you for your great example. I hope that one day some woman might see in me a bit of what I see is so amazing in each of you.

Sorry if this post has been super cheezy but I thought I should share it with you. Don't ask me why all my blogs have to be about women. I promise my next one might not be.

How to get a girl.

If only I could sing songs like this to a girl maybe I'd have a girlfriend.